It's Real

     Do you ever have days where you feel unwanted?

You know very well that you are loved

You know that you have no reason to be dissatisfied

but you are.

It hits hard, like a wave crashing against the coast

And like the ocean waves, it keeps coming

Crashing... harder...

You tell yourself to shake it

Why can't you shake it?

Why can't you just forget the hurt?

But the hurt is a dull ache... it doesn't go away.

Your Lord is still there

You still believe in Him

But you hurt

You know He doesn't want you to hurt.

This isn't you

This is the raw you

This is the core of who you are

The festering throbbing core.

This is the part of you that stays hidden

No one sees it

You don't see it

Only in flashes.

But now, it has reared it's ugly head

It comes in full force

It encompasses you.

God doesn't want this

You don't want this

Nobody wants this.

This is depression.

You tell yourself that you're fine

That you're selfish for feeling this way

It's not really depression

It's not that bad...

You're too dramatic

You're selfish

You hate yourself for feeling this way

You tell yourself that the depression isn't real

but it is.

**Never feel ashamed of the way you feel.  You may hide it from others, but you can't hide it from yourself.  Depression is real, don't stuff your feelings.  Get help.